my parents only care about my grades

Question: Why do I feel so guilty when my father points out my siblings flaws? By Erin Clements. Demeaning and comparison by parents is so much that most of the kids starts doing what others are doing rather then choosing their own profession. they only care about my grades and that I should go to a Ivy League collage! In fact, parents who are controlling are immature as well as insecure. Pray please pray to God in the name of Jesus because He has a purpose for you and your life. I have anxiety about so many things, and i wish I could just have a more positive life.. My mom pushes me to do too much work. Might it help if you got a math tutor? It started with the lion share of chores. If they aren't receptive, discuss the matter with a trusted relative. Childhood is a time to freely explore, try on different personas, and fall on your face. Internal beauty is far more important than outer beauty. they are the only things i would care for. Parents care more about their child's grades than the child itself. Conformity is a necessary thing in certain cases but parents should work on helping their child develop their unique talents while respecting the norms of society. They often view their children's physical and emotional differences as imperfections to be corrected and/or changed and may denigrate their children in order to make them shape up. Title says it all.. My parents only care about my grades. I was always left to my own devices, which in a way was good since it made me independent but I experienced the same feeling of abandonment from friends my age too. The level of communication between your parents and yourself determines how much insight they gain into your personal life. That means they care about you. 9 years they have been grumbling and criticizing my choice of freelance self-employment only because I dashed their dreams of being gainfully employed in the system. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on April 15, 2018: Seek counselling either by talking to a close friend, relative, or a psychologist. Then she launched into a story about one father who recently planted himself in her classroom during one of her lesson planning periods to complain about his son's mediocre grades. My parents were quite pushy about grades with my brothers. What your mother is doing to you is beyond horrific. If your parents are not receptive to counselling, go by yourself. My mom didn't make the same mistakes as my grandma so the cycle didn't continue. 1 Reply More posts from r/SuicideWatch 394K subscribers No_Investigator_7700 7 days ago "Actually, it's the parents," she confessed with a wince. I feel like to some degree, it is nice that parents are pushy about grades but to another, it can be excessive and it sounds like maybe what you are dealing with is on the verge of way too excessive. It's a shame stupidity isn't painful. Maybe is because Im from a hispanic culture, but to me, parents are the absolute law. I sat in my room crying until i eventually ran out of tears or dad came back from home and hugged me. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on April 01, 2018: Get counselling & LEAVE THEM AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. Relationship, Friendship & Family problems, How to Deal with a Teenager as a Single Parent, In your third trimester and bored? My parents are all of these, which caused me to be suicidal since I was literally a child (I started thinking about it when I turned 8 I think). This has ruined a career, now I have to retrain for something else. This past week, I've never felt so deflated, I'm practically ok with dying. Why? Strict parents, They are trying to shape me into what they want me to be, How to deal with teenagers?! Poor city, doctors flee from here. They are grossly unhappy, yearning for what might have been. Then they learned the truth. They assert that such behavior should be a given. I went to university despite her and worked in the IT sector. Hard to tell what could be helpful so far. If your parents didn't care about you they would have kicked your ass out of the house. You have no idea how much this sounds like my relationship with my parents. Real Example: We got our grades of the Chemistry exam today, i read the question wrong, i read Beta Particles instead of Alpha Particles, but i answered the question right if it was talking about Beta Particles so basically i answered it right, in a way. Please seek psychological help. Not just kids but teachers and teacher assistants too. My mom is not as bad as my dad. Anxiety In Teenagers: What Should Teens And Parents Know? On the other hand, children who saw their parents as putting more emphasis on achievements over being kind to others were more likely to experience negative outcomes, such as depression, anxiety, lower self-esteem, behavior problems, criticism from parents, learning problemsand lower grades. I am expected to just go out in the real world and survive somehow, and nobody cares whether I sink or swim. Anyone raised by authoritarians like this becomes timid and submissive. They will always choose the path of the least resistance all through life. No I don't! Mark mentioned one of the most important things to remember when you're . Answer: Discuss the matter thoroughly with your parents. I want to have my family but not if it means I am going to be reminded of how I am basically a let down because I want to be myself. God bless. Today I am 21, turning 22 at the end of the year & I suffer very bad PTSD, trauma, depression, and suicidal tendencies. Not to also mention here that the phrase "they know about everything" including about me. Your father is abusive & his behavior is inexcusable. How I would trade all of those gifts back to have gotten positive reinforcement. They're very emotionally and mentally abusive (They stopped the physical abuse once I reached 15). and now they keep asking why i hate them so much,AND how the bible said to care about your parent,your parent is the number one.. um what about the children?nope bible didn't say anything about that for them.. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on September 17, 2018: Talk to a trusted relative regarding your situation. I'm 34 and have literally just developed a sense of real control over my thoughts and feelings, to help guide myself from this point onwards. somebody on the internet on July 04, 2018: I'm glad I'm not the only person who's going through this. When they win a baseball game, there are loud cheers. They're not there to make your life worse. My mother displayed many of these characteristics but, even if I often disliked her growing up, I could never hate her because she genuinely did believe she was acting in my best interest. Yesterday a coworker threatened to beat me up and shoot me. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on September 14, 2018: All this broils down to parental insecurity, when parents need to control every aspect of the children lives to assuage their fears. Adults are just perverts to kids. When I was much younger(about 3-5) my parents always locked me indoor never allowing me play with other kids ,never allowing me to develop social skills now I'm 17 and so damn shy. (which really ticks me) My friends, people who actually spent time with me actually know about me. Her love and support balance out the suffocating negativity coming from my father & help me believe in myself . But it's not enough for them!!! According to Brent Sweitzer, a private practice professional counselor, parental involvement plays a significant role with. But I don't feel I'm ready yet. Mom keeps restricting me, nagging me if she doesn't satisfied with everything I did. Dear Carol, Many parents staunchly believe in blind and mindless conformity. Crazily (or not), research shows that some of the best change happens in kids when their parents work more on themselves. now i am grown i wonder how can you do that to someone you love talkless your own Child - The Other Day my own father asked me WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE , Talking about my first girlfriend and how i failed - What do you think you have achieved !! At the end of the day I'll just say I never really loved her but I do. Correction and discipline are meant to improve and enhance a child's sense of self and help a child become self-disciplined, self-motivated, and self-determined. I knew that my mam wasnt the best but I think I really understand it now. Such parents demoralize their children in one way or another. There is a great deal of value in recognizing when you make a mistake and then correcting it. Don't do it!Don't listen to those thoughts. I've never had money so I've never been able to take care of myself. That was an example of parental alien affection .., learned this in divorce law how parents pitnchildren against parents.. thats wrong and cruel .. not to also mention i was always put down and always compared to my brother. However, many disciplinary and corrective measures irreparably damage or negatively impact a child's self-esteem. They still came in first, they didn't need me anyways. So it doesnt really even out when my parents point out my flaws. Its the only thing that excites me or gives me drive. Question: Why does my father point out all my flaws? its just too much, i cant go on living like this and i get frequent suicidal thoughts. Went to Mazatlan every summer for about 1 month at least everyone of those 18 yrs. i dont like the consequecenes. Suicide My grandparents adopted me when I was younger. Thanks. Discuss the matter with an impartial relative, counselor, or a teacher. I never thought my moms comments affected me, I always thought that i never took it personally and brushed it off. How should I react here? No more getting grounded or bitched at etc. i m 53 it took me so much time to understand why i m so nice to people why i lack self confidence why i maried a manipulator why i was never happy my mom was a narcissic manipulator and my father was always manipulated by her . what a life ! head wounds ! The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on June 13, 2018: This article is right on point. A good strategy is to encourage children to develop their own personalities and voice. While some dreams are not based in reality and are unlikely to happen, the commitment to a positive approach to accomplishing tasks is a critical skill for a child to learn. Your father wants you to be subordinate to him in order to elevate his low self-esteem. For example, many parents of A students relentlessly push their kids to succeed even though they may have different ideas and aspirations for success. Instead of pointing out their flaws, help them develop their positive characteristics. I have low self esteem and an inferiority complex. Everybody got mad at me so I quit the team. No point having uncontrollable cannon arms. I know they care about my education, but they hurt my feelings. Dear Sick of It, I don't think she knows how to help me anymore. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on May 02, 2018: I cant do anything anymore it hurts she tells me I'm dumb just because I never got into a school I wanted I was supposed to start high school there she said just get ready for high school. She essentially tells me I'm wasting my time and money by pursuing anything musical. They feel that if their children are just like them, everything will be harmonious and stress-free. If I ever have children,I would never treat them the way my mother treats me.So, one day My moms phone buzzes.My mom is busy,so I look.And Im scrolling and I see that my mom and sister are having a conversation back and forth.And I read a text message thats my mom wrote that said,I never said she was perfect,but she isnt a smart ass.It Hurted me so bad And when I read that.It felt like I got hit by a car,and felt as if I was punched in the stomach.My self esteem went down so quick.No kid should ever feel that way like their not smart,or good enough.For all those parents reading this or people who plan on being parents,dont ever treat your children child like that.You May think,its nothing,but the pain and rejection stings so bad.And you may forget all about it.But the child will remember it forever.Its a scar that will never heal. There are individuals who aspire to uncommon goals and unique careers. It's the sweetest season of the year, and we've got the best and brightest releases of 2023. My Parents Don't Like my Partner (Boyfriend or Girlfriend), High Pressure for High Grades Leads to High Kids, Effective Ways to Talk to Your Kids so They will Listen, Boosting Your Child's Performance: Encouraging Self-Motivation, Why You Need To Sleep On It: Sleep Helps Your Brain Consolidate New Memories, Why Kids Don't Tell Their Parents They Are Being Bullied, And How To Spot The Signs. I cried as I was scrolling through this article. He obviously loves you. If I protested, they would tell me I am lazy and useless and that this was the "small" price I had to pay for being taken care of. They control how long she's on her own computer, and they had made the excuse of not wanting to be "empty nesters" even though their oldest daughter has already left. I've always been drawn to acting or maybe comedy, I wouldn't be surprised if I'd make a good bad guy. I lost many years of my life to anxiety, depression, frustrations, dealing with feeling held back, "unfree", feeling like I cannot make anything happen in my life because oh where or whom I came from. Her mother never gave that to her. One day, you'll understand. Build up rather than tear down is a good strategy to employ. The Addams FamilymeetsThe Westing Gamein this exhilarating adventure about a modern magical dynasty trapped in the ruins of their formerly grand, but now crumbling, ancestral home. i want to be the wide reciever at school.mom says that i will never make it cause i knoe nothing about football. My family puts me down and make me feel horrible to the point where I feel like killing myself. Question: If you know that your father was from a family of people who homicidally hounded family members to suicide by crushing their self-esteem, is it normal to continue hating such a person until old age? I have only myself to blame for the bad because I didnt work hard enough. Question: My parents are forcing me to attend school in my country when I know its not going to work out for me. 1 Instead they were far too often sordid and filled with a sort of silent emotional fury. My mom didn't even practice with me. Guest And all through that time, my parents and other family members tied to Grandma all thought I was taking advantage of her. And when I said "can I ask why" the world may have just exploded. No counselor/psychologist. Tell them you want to hear when theyre proud, not just when theyre disappointed. Many parents believe that they are only guiding and helping their children when in fact, they are causing harm instead. I got to see them again after a month. She constantly tells me I'll probably never make it in the music business and to focus on my office job. (I am also more fair skinned than anyone in the family but I look just like my dad who is the one I get my fairness from, mind you. Question: What should I do when my mother prevents me from doing things I want? Question: Why do my parents get mad at me for being sad, grumpy, or having a mental breakdown when they are the reason for my mental pain? He found a new wife.Aaand now i have a sister She is like 8 years younger than me.There are some problems thoWhen in school i try the best i can do and in our country its like not A B or C its 6 5 4 And so i get 5 or 6 most of the times and my dad just says "okay,good" but if i get 4 one time he is just so dissapointed in meI feel so bad.Even now thinking about it .Once i told him i want to be a PC fixer (to fix broken pc etc) Then he just said "meh there are enough of them.."Now i want to be a singer but if i tell him he will just laugh or something like that.He wants me to be like himliterally.Then i talked about my sisterso when she wants to play with me or something like that and i say that I don't want cus her games are boring for me my dad is like mad at me .. I've had my body taken advantage of multiple times by multiple people. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on January 25, 2018: Follow YOUR dreams, your mother is a soul destroying person.
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